Weight

My weight has changed a lot throughout this entire process.  Two weeks ago I was able to post on my Facebook page that I was below 300 pounds for the first time in a decade.  As I type this I am even lower, down to 295, and continuing to drop.  Losing sixty pounds is not hard, but difficult at the same time.  I guess I really need to explain that one.

Not hard.  Coming in at 355 pounds meant that I had a lot of excess baggage (in this case weight) that I needed to lose, so the potential was there for a lot of rapid weight loss and there has been.  I;ve been losing almost three pounds a week since I started this journey.  For many people just a few weeks of this would make them extremely happy.  Twenty pounds overweight?  Thirty pounds?  Forty?  Been there, done that.  I’ve lost sixty pounds, but I am still listed as being morbidly obese.  Not sure whether that is better sounding than the super obese that I was, but there it is.  I’m close to being simply severely obese but I am still a long way from being listed “normal” with regard to my weight.  Indeed, my initial goal, 225 pounds, still puts me in the overweight category, but it is a target that I desperately want to reach.  So, losing sixty pounds?  Not hard, but I have to lose another 75 to get to where I want to be.

Difficult.  I was at the ITM Christmas Lunch the other day.  A buffet with carved turkey, roast beef, stuffing, gravy and lots of dessert.  I had a single plate full of food before I went for dessert.  What did dessert consist of?  Fruit.  Melon, strawberries, and assorted other fruits.  I ate sensibly.  I controlled my portions.  But it was hard.  I really wanted to sample some of those desserts.  I really wanted to go back for seconds on the turkey and try some of that roast beef.  The buns?  They were fresh and I bet they would have tasted really good with a slab of butter on them.  But I didn’t go there. I refrained from pigging out even though I wanted to.  The most difficult part of this weight loss isn’t just saying “no” to the delicious food, but saying “no” knowing full well that I have already lost sixty pounds.  It would be so easy to say “just this once” and then eat to my hearts content, but I don’t want to slide backwards, I want to stay strong for me.  I want to know that I am doing my best and not throwing in cheat days because something comes up.

So, yeah, sixty pounds was easy because of where I started, but it is also difficult because of where I started.  If I slip up I have a long way to fall